Feels like home
by Elisssx
Summary: What would you do if you realized you were gonna live forever, as a monster? Right, get scared and run away. Just like Elena did. She left all her loved ones behind, possibly the hardest choice ever. She managed to stay away for almost a decade, but she needs to go back to Mystic Falls. Will she run back to Stefan? Or pretend she's someone else? What will happen to their epic love?
1. Chapter 1

**Well, this is my first fanfic ever, and in English! It starts a bit slow but you can't expect a story to be amazing in the beginning right? I'm sorry if I made any spelling mistakes or something, so just let me know when you find some. Thank you for reading! R&R! :) **

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_´No Stefan, I can´t pretend I´m happy any longer! I don´t want to!´ I screamed at the man I loved with tears in my eyes. He looked at me with his sad green eyes and his hand reached out for me but I ignored it. ´You chose this life, you chose to be a vampire! What choice did I have? And now you expect me to go along with this crazy life?' I've never lashed out at anyone like this, I never thought Stefan would be the one to trigger this hidden part of me. 'Elena..' He sighed and looked at me with eyes full of regret. I knew I wasn't being fair, but I couldn't help myself. Stefan tried to help me, make my life a bit easier now I was a vampire, but after a few months I realized this wasn't what I wanted and as soon as I realized that I felt something inside of me change. I needed space, time to think. I couldn't trust my emotions any more, now everything was heightened. 'I'm sorry, I know this isn't what you wanted, but I know you can get through this, if you just let me help you.' His voice was shaking, and I could see he was holding back the tears I've caused. I shook my head. 'No Stefan, I need time to think. I just need some alone time, I have to know if I can stand on my own feet.' When Stefan realized what I was saying, pain shot across his face, I knew I was hurting him but I had to go through with this. 'Don't go Elena, I just got you back..' he whispered and he took one step closer. I bit my lip, something I always did when I was nervous. 'I'm sorry, Stefan. I have to go.' I took one deep breath and said something I still hated myself for. 'If you really love me, you let me go. We'll find our way back to each other I promise. After all, we´re vampires right? We've got forever.' I took his hand in mine and squeezed it. Then I let go and ran out of the room, not wanting to look back and saw Stefan's devastated look. _

I opened my eyes, and felt tears rolling down my cheeks. I was just gone for a couple of weeks but I felt so guilty. I didn't even say goodbye to Damon, not like he would care but still. I sat down on the beach and felt the sand between my toes, it made me feel a little bit normal again. Every two days I would call Jeremy, just to hear how he's holding up. He's the only one I want to talk to, cause I am the one responsible for him now that Ric is dead.. I wrote a letter to Damon and Stefan, pouring my heart out. They both tried calling me, Stefan more than Damon. I didn´t want to stay in America, so I fled to England, hoping I could start a new life abroad. I dyed my hair blonde, and wore colored contacts, so my eyes were now green. I loved this beach, I found an empty house near to it and I came here every day just to get my mind clear. I stole some blood bags from the hospital, hoping they wouldn´t notice. I´ve met some people here and I even got into college. This is my new life, I shut out all my emotions pretending I didn´t feel my heart aching. But it felt okay, England was amazing. I missed my friends like crazy but I started to get used to it. My name _was_ Elena Gilbert, but you may call me Rose Belikov. **New name, new life.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A few weeks earlier.**

_Dear Stefan,_

_You'll probably know what this letter is about, but I hope you can find the courage to read it, cause I need you to know. This is indeed goodbye, but not for always. Our paths will meet again, maybe someday I'll be mature and prepared enough to live a life together. But I just cannot handle seeing all of you get hurt because of me, that's why I had to go, figure out my life on my own. You made me the happiest girl I could be, you saved me in every way a person can be saved. I hope you realize that every time I smiled I was thinking of you. You showed me what love is, and I will keep my memories with me. You have kept my feet on the ground yet you also showed me how beautiful the skies and the stars are. No one is to blame for this, life has a habit of getting in the way now and then. You let me make my own decisions, so you have to let me make this one too. This is not the end, this is just a new beginning. I am hurting and I need to heal on my own. __Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there. I love you Stefan, hold on to that. We'll meet again, but for now, live your life, like I'm going to do too. Keep an eye on Jeremy for me, but I know you will. It's time for me to be a big girl now. _

_Goodbye, for now.  
Elena._

Stefan's heart skipped a few beats when he read the letter over and over, looking for some hints, hints that told him she was kidding, that she could be home any minute now. But somewhere deep down he knew she wasn't kidding. His heart was aching so much and he fell to the ground, holding back the tears. He knew it was his fault, if he hadn't left her to go with Klaus, they would still be together now. He wanted to go after her, ask Bonnie to locate her but he knew she didn't want to be found so he just sat there feeling hopeless. He didn't know how long he had been sitting like this when Damon came into his room, his eyebrows raised at him. 'Look at you brother, did the cute forest animals attack you?' He chuckled at his own joke, but when he saw the letter in my hand his grin disappeared. 'What's wrong?' He asked, trying to hide his curiosity. Stefan shrugged at him and stood up, walking past him, bumping his shoulder into Damon's. Damon couldn't resist and he picked the letter up, and read the same thing Stefan did. He didn't know what to feel. Happy, because he could move on now Elena was out of the picture? Sad, because she was gone? He felt both, but most of all he felt scared. What was he supposed to do without her? She changed him, in a good way. He knew Stefan was hurting too, of course he's just been dumped, but he was lucky enough to have spend time with her, Damon didn't. He threw her letter away and rushed over to his own room with a glass of bourbon in his hand, desperate in need of some alcohol. Damon didn't know what was happening to him, since he never let himself care about anything, but now he was feeling hurt. Because of a god damn girl. But his heart rejected, not just any girl, Elena Gilbert. His glass fell out of his hand when he saw there was a letter waiting to be read on his bed too. 'Oh hell no she didn't.' He murmured angry. He opened the letter and his heart started to beat faster when he read the words he was hoping he´d never hear.

_Hey Damon, _

_Bet you thought I forgot about you didn't you? But how could I? You __were there one who was there for me when nobody else was. You made me feel like I had a reason for living after he left.. But, I can't find my reason anymore, not in this life. How can I ever be the same after loving you? Yes I did, and I still do. It's just, I made my decision and I'm not changing it. I hope that when I come back you'll be able to forgive me, even though you have no reason to. I'm leaving and I don't want you to come and search for me, I don't want to be found. Please, don't spend another eternity hating Stefan, he needs you now, like you need him. I'm not saying farewell Damon, I'm just going away for a while. What's time when you're a vampire right? I love you and I probably always will, just not the way you want me to. Well this was it, please don't do anything reckless, like drink all the bourbon you have or something, it's gonna make you sick. Save some for me when I come back. _

_Elena._

Damon shrugged it off, but on the inside he was screaming. So this is how it felt when your heart got broken. Of course he'd been dead by now if that was true, but it felt like it though. Damon crumbled the letter and threw it in the trash. Like she once said, loving her was the problem. Damon finally realized what had gone wrong all this time, he cared and by caring his humanity came back. Love can be a vampire´s greatest power or weakness. Loving Elena made him weak, made him feel like a human. And he missed feeling that way so much that he tried to cling on to that feeling for so long and now that she was gone well.. it felt like a part of him died. But hey, he thought, I'm Damon Salvatore who needs humanity? Downstairs he heard something break and then the slamming of the door. He ran down and saw what Stefan had done. Every picture from Elena, everything that she had touched did he tear to pieces. He knew, because he cherished all the same things like Stefan did. Damon didn't really like dwelling in sadness, but Elena leaving felt so serious this time, she was a vampire now, she didn't need them rescuing her. And god knows where she is now. He poured himself some bourbon and stared out of the window. Maybe it was true, Stefan needed him right now and although he wouldn't ever admit it to him, he needed Stefan too at this moment. It was time for Damon to get over the hard feelings for his little brother. 'Goodbye Elena.' Damon murmured before he raced out the door, looking for Stefan.


	3. Chapter 3

70 years have passed since the last time I´ve been in Mystic Falls. I couldn´t go there, not now I started a new life. Not after what I had put my loved ones through. But this time I had to, because Jeremy´s funeral was today. I was happy that he got to spend a long live, without all those crazy vampires interfering. Jeremy and I met up every 5 years, I couldn't stand being away from him, but he got along well, and that kept me strong. My desire to see Stefan, Bonnie, Tyler, Caroline, Matt and and Damon was so strong and it made my heart ache to even think about them but I didn´t want to start all over again, not now I was getting happy about my new life.

I stared at my reflection in the half broken mirror. I hadn´t aged a day since I turned, like duh. My hair was still blonde but I got rid of the contacts, they were hurting too much. I was hoping no one would notice me. Not that anyone would except my friends, cause all the founders were long gone and wouldn´t have noticed me not aging, but still it felt weird.. What if my friends didn´t recognize me? What if they really had forgotten about me, like I wanted them to? I don't know if I would be happy with that or not. I wore a black dress and black high heels. Just like everyone probably would. I was fairly sure I wouldn't run into Damon or Stefan today, after all why would they have stayed in Mystic Falls? Damon never liked it here, he liked the big cities unlike Stefan. But I always hoped they would've stayed together somehow, comforting each other. I pulled my hair back in a tight ponytail and put on my coat. I was staying in a motel just outside Mystic Falls and if I hadn't had my super speed I would have to take a cab, but hey I'm a vampire now and I finally got used to it. So while I was running through the woods, everything came back to me. I smelled the woods, and they smelled like home and it felt like I was coming home again and that made me feel good. But as soon as I approached the graveyard my heart stopped. I wasn't just visiting, I was coming to say goodbye to Jeremy, my only family left and now he was gone, I had no one. I felt tears clouding my vision and I tried to blink them away. I've missed my little brother so much, and it is my own fault I haven't seen him in so long. I walked up to the church near the graveyard where the ceremony would begin soon. I didn't see any one I know and I felt some weight falling off my shoulders. I chose a seat in the back and tried to hold back the tears while all kinds of memories were trying to crush me, but I wouldn't give in. This day was about Jeremy, and I would be strong for him because I knew he would have wanted that. When I felt relieve flowing through my body because none of my friends were here, I saw an old man going to sit next to me. At first I didn't recognize him, but when I saw his eyes and his still boyish features it hit me. 'Matt,' I whispered. He stared at me with a strange look, his eyes looked sad and he looked like he was about to breathe his last breath. 'Do I know you?' he asked me, his voice full of suspicion. I didn't know what to do, I was frozen in my seat, my eyes piercing into his, hoping I would find a glimpse of the old Matt, the younger Matt who I called my best friend. I shook my head, realizing what I was risking. 'Sorry, you just looked familiar.' I quickly said. He gave me a strange look and then the ceremony began. I knew this was the hardest part, cause now the family members would have to walk in, but as far as I knew, Jeremy and I hadn't had any family left, our friends were our family. The doors opened once again, and I saw my old friends coming in. I felt my heart break when I saw their faces. Bonnie was the same age as Matt was, but Caroline, Tyler and Stefan all looked the same. Well not really. Yeah their futures looked the same, but the pain was carved on all their faces. I almost didn't recognize Stefan, his eyes once so full of life, looked like they had lost all their power and just looked dull.. Like the eyes of a puppet, it scared me. What has happened to them..

'And now, Ms. Bennett is going to say some words before we leave to the graveyard.' Said the priest. Bonnie walked up to the stage, her voice trembling as she tried to speak. I saw her bite her lip trying to push the tears away. 'I had prepared a speech, to tell you about my life together with Jeremy. But it all seems so.. meaningless now. You all know what kind of person Jeremy was. He was the caring type, always looking out for others instead of himself. I loved him with every fiber in my body.' She whipped away her tears and waited a moment, looking around the room. She met my eyes, and for a second I saw some kind of recognition flashing through her eyes, but as soon as it came, it disappeared. 'Jeremy had only one family member left, his sister Elena. But she left us many years ago, and only a few of us will remember her. But he was just like her, and I know that if she could, she would have been here today. I'd like to think they are together now. He loved her so much, like she loved him.' I couldn't stop the tears from falling and I felt Matt looking at me, but I couldn't meet his gaze. I felt devastated, just like I felt when I just left Mystic Falls. Bonnie kept on speaking but I didn't hear it anymore. When I finally got myself together Bonnie had just finished her speech and walked together with Caroline, Tyler and Stefan to the graveyard. I almost ran out but when I walked past Matt he got a hold on my wrist. 'I thought you were dead..' he whispered, his voice shaking. 'I'm sorry, I don't know what you are talking about.' I said with a soft voice. 'I´ve missed you so much..' I tried to look surprised. 'I think you might mistake me for someone else, sorry but I have to go now.' I succeeded in keeping my voice steady and Matt let go of me.

The funeral was done, and I waited until everybody was gone so I could say my goodbye to Jer. It was getting dark already and the wind dried my tears. I kneeled down to the grave. 'Hey Jer, it's me.' Of course there was no response from him, but something inside of me said he could still hear me. 'It's been a while. I've missed you.' I managed to smile through my tears. 'You can finally see mom and dad again. So hi to them for me.' I never believed in ghost or faith or something like that, but when I looked up to the sky I saw a falling star. 'Goodbye Jer,' I whispered to the sky this time, hoping it was him. 'Please forgive me for putting you through all of this, sorry for ruining your life. I love you and never meant to hurt you. I'll see you soon.' I whipped away my tears and let out a shaky sigh. 'Well well, look who came back.'


	4. Chapter 4

I turned around, shocked. My insides turned and my whole body felt numb. His icy blue eyes pierced into mine and my knees were getting weak. I never thought this was the place where we´d meet again. I knew denying it was me wouldn´t help cause after all, this was Damon we were talking about. ´H-hi.' I stuttered, not knowing what else to say to him after all this time. 'So you decided to come back, how nice of you.' His voice sounded stern and his face didn't show any sign of happiness what so ever. 'I'm not here to stay.' I said, proud that I was able to keep my voice from shaking again. This day was hard enough without Damon lecturing me and I wanted to flee. 'So that's what you've become huh.' 'What do you mean?' I started backing away, but he took one step closer to me every time I did, so there was no point escaping. Damon was 200 years older than me, so he would catch up with me immediately if I ran away. 'Well, since you're her doppelganger I shouldn't be surprised that you also act like her.' He said with his famous smirk on his face. That hurt, that really hurt. But I wasn't going to let him get to me. 'Knock it off Damon. Just because I chose Stefan doesn't mean I'm like Katherine.' I knew that remark was out of line but I couldn't help myself, Damon made me nervous and made me feel weak after all this time.. I didn't want to feel like this, this was one of the reasons I went away. I saw something cross over his face but it was gone before I could realize what it was. 'Thank you Elena. You made it very clear, again.' He gritted through his teeth. 'I'm sorry Damon, I didn't mean that. Can't you spare me some credit though? I just buried my brother..' That last sentence came out as a whisper. I felt the pain crushing me. I played with my hair just to keep focused on something so I wouldn't break down. 'It's not my fault you ran away, leaving your mortal brother behind.' I didn't know this Damon, of course I knew he could be cruel but this was beyond his normal snappy remarks. I took one step closer. 'What happened to you Damon?' I asked him, taking another step when he didn't back away. He shrugged. 'I don't know what you mean.' 'What happened, Damon?' I reached out my hands and cupped his face with them. He didn't pull away, and I looked him right in the eyes, searching for something that reminded me of the old Damon. And then I found it, the way only Damon could look at _me_, with all the love of the world in his eyes. It was there for a moment, but I've seen it and that was enough for me. He knew what I saw and he let his guard down. 'You happened,' He said with a raspy voice. 'How did you expect me to be? Seriously? No word from you, only that stupid letter?' He started getting angry, I knew he was trying to push me away, but I wasn't going to let him. 'I thought it was best if you and Stefan could live a normal life.. Without me. Do you know how I felt, Damon?' I sighed, trying to keep my calm. I had so many mood swings it made me crazy. 'Remember the accident, when I was human? My parents drove off the bridge and Stefan saved me. After that, I felt like I didn't know how to live anymore, that I didn't want to. And when Matt drove us off the bridge, again. I made a decision. Matt should live, no matter what happened, so I let Stefan rescue him first, and I accepted my destiny. I felt peaceful knowing that Matt was safe. I could die in peace, and then Meredith screwed up.' I had to stop, because tears were flowing again. 'Walk with me.' Damon took my hand and lead me away from the graveyard while I was barely able to walk, I sucked as a vampire. I didn't even noticed where we were going and when I did it was almost too late. 'No Damon, I don't want to see Stefan. Please.' I begged. 'Well, maybe you shouldn't have come here in the first place then.' He was his old self again, but I could see I had hurt him. 'Just one night Damon, tomorrow I'll go and see him, but just not today.' He nodded and we walked in opposite direction.

The silence didn't feel awkward, it felt right somehow. 'I liked you better when you were a brunette.' Damon said breaking the silence. 'I was hoping nobody would recognize me, but Matt already did. Poor Matty..' He chuckled lightly. 'Your eyes gave you away.' I nodded and we walked to a meadow, and we sat down in the grass looking at the stars. We talked about nothing in particular, avoiding the heavy subjects and I was thankful for that. 'How is he?' I asked, afraid of the answer. 'He's not ripping people apart.' I sighed relieved. 'That's all. He does nothing. He keeps going to school, he gets up, goes to school, and goes to bed. On the weekends he's drunk. And that's it. He's either drunk or sleeping.' I didn't know how to react so I just sat there, staring into the darkness. 'But when he knows you're back he'll come around. I'm sure.' He was trying to cheer me up, what made me feel worse. When I thought of Stefan, I felt guilt and remorse, I felt like the pain was overwhelming me. 'I don't want him to know.' Damon noticed my change in mood and cocked his eyebrows. 'O my god, you've got to be kidding me. You're seriously not in love with Stefan anymore? Please call the papers the impossible happened.' His voice dripping of sarcasm. 'I didn't say that Damon. It's just.. I don't want to go back to my old life again. It's too much. Stefan reminds me of the old me, I'm not like that anymore. I've hurt him too much, I can't get back with him.' Damon seemed to think about that for a second. 'Now is the part where I'm supposed to beg you to stay and tell you everything is going to be alright. But guess what, I'm _so _over that. If you don't want to stay. Fine, just leave. But don't bother coming around anymore, cause I will hurt you if you come back and devastate my brother and me again. I've loved you with a fire red but it now turning blue, ya know.' He rolled his eyes and me and stood up. 'Just so you know, you're just like Catherine, why have one brother when you can have two? But you know what, you can't have both of us. I'll make it easy for you, I don't want you. I'm being harsh on you and I'm sorry but you ruined Stefan and he is still my little bro. So I suggest you get the hell out of here when you have no intention of fixing him.' I just sat there watching Damon, letting his words sink in. I remembered how I felt coming back here, feeling like I came home. Maybe I owed it to all of my friends, to try again and maybe this time I would succeed. 'Damon, wait.' He didn't turn around but he stood still. 'Thank you. For being my friend. But please don't ask me to hurry things with Stefan, let me figure this one out on my own. I won't go away again I promise, but just.. Don't push me. I've hurt Stefan and you enough already, and I don't want to make the wrong decisions.' 'Well then, that's settled. Make sure you're ready tomorrow night. I´m going to show you what you´ve missed.' And with that, he left. Leaving me with all this questions.


	5. Chapter 5

I cover my eyes, I cover my ears, just to shut everyone out. I couldn´t sleep last night, I kept thinking about Damon. His words repeating in my head, over and over again. I was hoping Stefan would had just moved on, like I told him to. But my leaving was good for one thing, Damon and Stefan found each other again, at least, Damon found Stefan and stood up for him, that made me happy. They only have each other left. ´And I have no one.´ I whispered to myself. I was sitting at a bench on the town square, with my sunglasses on. It was a hot and bright day outside, and it wasn't even noon yet and already hot. I decided I needed to do some shopping if I really decided to stay here, I wasn´t completely sure yet but every girl needs enough clothes right? I was hoping my favorite clothing store would still be there but when I went to the place it used to be I only recognized the big windows. The store was gone and empty, it looked like it was waiting to be destroyed. Another memory flashing before my eyes. This was the shop Caroline, Bonnie and I went shopping almost every weekend, not because we liked it that much, but because Caroline made us. I took of my sunglasses to wipe away some lost tears. Crying was all I did these last couple of days, but I allowed myself to, because I haven't cried in so long. It's just, with Jeremy being gone, remembering my old life, it's just all a bit overwhelming. I promised that I would be strong tomorrow. I heard someone cough behind me and I woke up from daydreaming. Normally I would have heard someone coming but I wasn't as alert as usual. I turned around, only to immediately turn back. Speaking of the devil. 'Is everything alright?' Caroline asked. I turned back around, trying to keep my eyes at the ground, hoping she wouldn't recognize me. Not the she would still remember what my eyes would look like but you never know. I shrugged. 'Yeah, why wouldn't it be?' Confusion spread across her face but was gone in an instant, she shook her head. Almost like she tried to convince myself that this voice, my voice, didn't sound painfully familiar. 'I don't know. You look a little lost, staring at this old building.' Her voice sounded exactly the same, she was still the same. Still the sweet, caring and bubbly Caroline. It made me want to hug her so bad. 'I'm not lost, but thanks for asking.' I tried to keep my voice low and walked around her but she stepped into my way. 'I know this may sound strange, but do you want to get some coffee maybe? I'm guessing you're new in town and well, I'm the welcome committee of Mystic Falls.' She smiled so widely I could see her perfect pearl white teeth. I wanted to say no, but she looked so happy I just couldn't. 'Sure. Let's go.' I smiled, and I wasn't even faking it.

Finally, someone who seemed happy to see me, even though she didn't really know who I was. 'I'm Caroline Forbes, and you are?' She asked while we were walking to The Grill, at least if it still existed. 'I'm Ele- Rose Belikov.' I didn't want her to know yet, I had some figuring out to do before I confronted all my friends with my return. She raised her eyebrows at me. 'You don't sound Russian.' She wasn't the first who noticed, so I was prepared. 'I was adopted, my real parents were Russian.' I wasn't a total lie, I was adopted, it made me feel a less guilty about lying to her. She nodded. 'Oh that was rude sorry. So you and your parents moved here or something?' I stood still for a moment, there we were. The place that appeared in so many memories, the one and only Grill. 'Uh no. I moved here, sorta. I'm staying at a motel. My parents died.' I said flinching. I still missed Jenna like hell. 'Oh my god. I'm so sorry! Jeez you must think I'm a total bitch right now. Let me make it up to you!' I grinned a little at her. 'Relax Care, you couldn't have known. Next subject, make it a happier one please.' She smiled at me a little bit confused and as we walked into the Grill, my emotions overwhelmed me. It really felt like coming home, like I've left my heart behind when I went away and now that I was back I picked it up again. I began to realize more and more that this was the place where I belonged. Don´t get me wrong, I loved England. The people, the accents, the nature and all the beautiful places I´ve been. But nothing could compare to Mystic Falls, this is where I grew up, where we finally managed to beat Klaus. This was the town where I found my first love, my second, and probably my everlasting love.

Someone snapped their fingers in front of my eyes and I jumped in my seat. Caroline looked at me with worry in her eyes. ´Everything okay? You looked like you were a thousand miles away.' 'Sorry, I was just.. thinking about home.' 'Yeah, where is your home?' Shit, I didn't know the answer to this. I couldn't tell her I was from England 'cause I didn't have an accent. And suddenly my mind was all blank, I couldn't think of a place in America. But thank god, someone saved me. 'Caroline, there you are! I've been calling you a thousand times.' That voice, that smell. I would recognize him everywhere. No, not yet. I couldn't face him, not now. I still hadn't decided if I wanted to stay, if I wanted to have him know I was here. 'Hi Stefan, sorry been busy. Stefan I want you to meet-' But before she could finish I rushed away, hoping he didn't even notice me.


	6. Chapter 6

´Stefan, what´s wrong?' Caroline asked but he wasn't listening. That girl, she seemed so familiar but a stranger at the same time. 'Yeah that girl's a bit weird, but she seems nice. She's new in town and she is alone. Her parents, well adoptive parents died. I feel sad for her Stefan, we should welcome her.' Caroline kept rattling but he didn't hear a word she said. He was searching his memories, memories of that girl, but he couldn't find any. 'She looked so familiar.' Stefan managed to say, stopping Caroline. 'Yeah, well we had the same hair color.' Caroline said, smiling a bit. Stefan shook his head. 'No I didn't mean it that-' 'Of course you didn't, I'm not stupid. I know exactly what you meant and don't you dare think about that. She left us and obviously she didn't care enough to come say goodbye to her _own brother._' She snapped. Stefan wasn't the only one suffering from Elena's departure. Caroline lost her best friend, along with Bonnie. Bonnie turned away from them when she learned that Elena was a vampire too. She couldn't handle it, she tried but couldn't. She distanced herself from Caroline and her others friends, Jeremy was the only one she opened up to. 'I'm sorry,' Caroline said while she shook her head. 'It's just, I thought the same thing. When I saw her standing on the street, I thought it was her, but Elena isn't a blonde and she would never do that. I don't want to hear it Stefan, Elena left us, left you.' She said angry. Deep down Caroline knew that if the girl really was Elena she would forgive her immediately and run into her arms. She missed her best friend so much, she just told herself that she was angry because that would numb the pain she felt thinking about Elena, just like Stefan did with alcohol. Speaking of alcohol, Stefan didn't seem drunk or anything and that was the least to say surprising cause in the last 70 years Stefan had been drinking as much as Damon always did, maybe more. And Damon drank _a lot._ 'I miss her too.' Stefan whispered and put his arms around Caroline. They had never been more than friends and they were never going to be more, but they grew closer to each other. She knew what he felt and the other way around. Caroline pushed him off her after some time and smiled at him. 'You said you were looking for me?' He grinned. 'Yeah, I felt hungry and I was wondering.. Would you like to go hunting with me?' Caroline nodded in astonishment, this was the first time since 10 years that he wanted to hunt together again. She eyed him suspiciously. 'Stefan, are you sick or something?' He chuckled. 'Jeez thanks Caroline, I just.. I don't know, I woke up this morning and I didn't feel the urge to drunk myself.' 'Sounds great. Let's meet up tonight 'kay? I have to fix something.' 'Okay, good luck.' Stefan smiled and waved to Caroline while she left.

Stefan sat down by the bar, ordering a coke. The bartender looked at Stefan with surprise. Stefan usually ordered the heavy deal. 'Good day today?' Stefan nodded. 'Actually, it is. Cheers.' He didn't want to admit it, but the blonde strange girl got his hopes up. Not because of Elena, well maybe a little, but just because she was new and seemed lost. He knew what it was like to feel like that, like Caroline said, she needed to be welcomed by some friendly faces. Today was the day Stefan stopped sobbing about Elena, he would never forget her not in a hundred years, but the sun was a little bit brighter today and the air was clearer. Maybe life did go on and maybe he was ready to move on. Someone cleared his throat next to him and saw Damon sitting next to him. 'Don't tell me that is _just coke._' Damon said with a disgusted face. 'Actually it is. You should try it and stay sober for one day.' Damon gave him a friendly punch to the arm. 'Nah, been there done that. It's highly overrated.' Stefan shook his head, Damon would never change. 'I wasn't going to say it, but I have surprise for you.' Stefan cocked his eyebrows. 'What do you mean Damon? I told you I don't need strippers.' It wouldn't be the first time Damon did something like that. 'No not that silly, I keep those to myself. I've met someone you're definitely going to like.' Stefan groaned. 'What now?' 'Well, it's a surprise but you'll see soon enough.' Damon jumped off the chair and saluted Stefan. While Damon walked out, Stefan couldn't help but notice that Damon looked, happier. Guess everybody had to move on.


	7. Chapter 7

I was getting ready for tonight, just like Damon told me to. I don´t know why I actually did what he said, maybe because I was a little curious about his plans. I was still staying at the motel and I wanted to get out so desperately. I looked at the clock, it was half past 7 and I needed to get some fresh air, I started to feel claustrophobic inside this room. Damon would find me, so I went out and started running through the woods again. It was like my feet had their own will, like I had no control anymore. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of my old house. The house looked empty and suddenly I was overwhelmed by sadness again. All my precious memories of mom and dad, aunt Jenna, Jeremy and all my friends were in there. But I realized I didn´t feel regret. Of course I felt guilty because of what I did, but I didn´t regret _leaving_. It did made me stronger and it changed me. I learned to control myself and stand up for myself. I just, had to lose a lot of people along the way and that was what hurt me. Did I really want to leave again? I asked myself, but maybe that wasn't the right question. Was I _able_ to leave? No, absolutely not. Looks like I already made my decision, I'm moving back here again. I felt wind behind me and I didn't have to turn around to know who was there. 'Hi Damon.' I heard him murmur something but didn't hear what. 'I thought I had you, guess you're not that easy to scare anymore.' 'Well, I have had some years of practice don't you think?' 'It's still yours you know.' He said, pointing to the house. 'It is?' I thought Jeremy would have sold it, or Bonnie or someone. 'Like duh. Jeremy never sold it, guess he'd known you would come back eventually.' I smiled, of course Jeremy wouldn't sell it, he knew me too well. 'I can't live there. It brings to many memories.' 'Memories aren't always a bad thing you know. They remind you of your past and help you learn from it. Memories are meant to make you happy, they make you stronger.' He didn't say it with his always present ironic tone. I stared at his face, trying to see if he was being serious or not. 'And sometimes well, you need to be reminded of the bad things to, so you won't make the same mistake again.' 'So that's what this is about huh?' So that was what he was trying to do. 'I don't know what you're talking about.' He said with a smirk on his face. 'I'm not going to leave again Damon. Get over yourself.' 'Well if you're going to stay here, I suggest you get rid of that ridiculous hair.' I cocked my eyebrows at him. 'Excuse me? I like being a blonde.' He laughed. 'No you look like a Barbie.' I punched his arm. 'Thanks, knew I could count on you. But seriously, I don't know if I'm ready to see Stefan this soon.' 'He seemed happier today you know. I saw him at the Grill. I think he's finally moving on.' Damon sighed and suddenly he looked really old and tired. 'I'm gonna make it right Damon, I swear.' He smiled at me, he smiled his real smile I had missed so much. I couldn't help myself and threw my arms around him, not because I was in love with him, just to let him know I cared. 'I care about you Damon, I still do. You have all the right to be mad at me, but you have to know you don't have to do it all alone anymore.' I felt his tense shoulders relax and he carefully wrapped his arms around my waist. I could feel his walls breaking down. 'It was hard you know, watching Stefan hurt like that. He reminded me of someone, _myself_. I acted the same way when I found who Catherine really was..' 'I know, you don't have to pretend you're the bad guy.' And for a moment, I could actually believe that everything was going to be alright again. After a while he let go of me. 'If you ever tell someone about this, I'll hunt you down.' He said warning me, but with a smile in his eyes. I shook my head, smiling too. 'I won't.' 'I have to admit Elena, you're not the 18 year old teenager anymore. You really are an adult now.' 'Thanks, that means a lot coming from someone who occasionally acts like a 5 year old.' 'Never mind, you're still the same.'

'I think you need to school again.' Damon said. We were at the Grill again, in a dark corner of course so we wouldn't draw the attention. 'Excuse me, why?' 'To meet new people Elena. This town has changed you know. The people have changed. Besides, Stefan, Caroline and Tyler still attend school.' That made me think about his plan. 'Well.. I could try. But not before I've told them about.. me.' 'It's a deal then.' We toasted and talked about nothing in particular, we just had fun. I told him about England, and the big library they had at the university. 'Jeez, you're such a dork Elena.' 'Elena?' I stiffened at that voice.


	8. Chapter 8

I turned around, not able to say a word. This couldn´t be happening, this was just a nightmare. How could I prepare myself to seeing him again. I was able to get a good look at him now, not like before. His hair was longer, but that was all that changed about him. He looked exactly the same, he looked just like the man who still haunted me in my dreams every night. But he wasn´t alone, Caroline was standing next to him and the look on her face said it all. She looked terribly confused. ´Well hello little brother and Barbie.´ He smirked. The confident Damon was back. ´What did you say Damon?' Caroline snapped. Stefan looked like he had just seen a ghost. Damon turned around, looking at me. What could I do? They weren't crazy, and Caroline must have suspected something already. It's not like that a different hair color changed me in total. 'Remember when I told you I met someone you were going to like?' Damon said, talking to Stefan totally ignoring Caroline. Stefan refused to look at any of us. 'Well this is her. Say hello to Elena.' He pointed and smiled encouragingly to me. 'Damon, this is sick, even for you.' Caroline hissed. Damon looked a bit helpless so I took a deep breath and gathered all the courage I had in me. 'He's right, Care. It is me. You guessed it right, I did look familiar.' I managed to smile, but my whole body was shaking. Stefan's head snapped up and he looked at me with bewildered eyes. 'I-I need to go.' He said and rushed out, almost using his vampire speed. 'I think I need to go.' Damon said. I nodded while my eyes started to fill with tears. Damon left me with Caroline. She was still staring at me with disbelief in her eyes and then: the impossible happened.

She flew into my arms, hugging me so tight that if I actually needed air I would probably choke. 'I-I have missed you so much you bitch.' She cried and I couldn't help but laugh. When she finally let go of me she took my hand and pulled me out of the Grill going somewhere more private. We sat down near her house and it felt like I hadn't left at all. 'Why aren't you mad at me?' I asked. She shrugged. 'I don't know. I'm sad that you left, but I kind of understand why. But I wish I could've helped you, when you just changed.. I know what it was like. But of course, you became what you most hated. I get it Elena, you needed time. Not just because you turned into a vampire, but because of everything that had happened. Losing Jenna, losing Ric, losing Stefan to Klaus and then that thing between you and Damon. You lost so many people and now you had all the time in the world to adjust to the idea that you were gonna have to live without them. I admire you, you're so strong. You had the power to leave, I wish I had that. And here you are, after all the pain this town has put you through, you came back.' Okay, I wish I could say I was being strong, but I wasn't. Tears were flowing from my eyes and dripped down on my hands. She hugged me again. 'As much as I would like to hear _all_ your stories about where ever you have been. You need to talk to Stefan.' 'How is he? And I need an honest answer.' She seemed to think about the for a moment. 'Well. He spent the first 20 years ignoring everyone. Unbelievable but true. After that, he was drunk all the time. But he never turned into his old self, the ripper one. Damon tried everything he could, to make him smile. But nothing worked. Until the last 2 years. He started smiling, not often but he did. He went to school again and he met someone.' Caroline held her hands in front of her mouth in shock. 'I'm sorry, I didn't want to tell you!' I felt my face turn white. 'Speak up Caroline.' 'Her name is Aria and she is from the Lockwood family. She is somehow Tyler's niece.' 'You mean-' 'Yes she is a werewolf.'

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**Don't worry, of course Stefan and Elena will get back together, eventually. But we wouldn't Stefan to be lonely do we? Thank you for the reviews, i love them! Keep reviewing :]**


	9. Chapter 9

_I want to tell you so before the sun goes dark_  
_How to hold my heart_  
_'Cause I don't want to let go, let go, let go of you_

_I'm not the kind to try to tell you lies_  
_But the truth is you've been hiding from it too_  
_I see the end sneaking in behind your eyes_  
_Saying everything no words could ever do_

* * *

I was going to stay at the motel one more night and then I was going to move to my old home. Caroline sat next to me on the creaking bed. ´How are you feeling?' she asked with a voice full of worry. 'I don't know. I'm happy for him you know, he deserves it. It's just.. The thought of him loving someone else is hard to bear.' She nodded. 'I know, but I don't want to sound mean or anything but she's no comparison to you. If you get rid of the blond of course.' She smiled making me smile too. 'Nobody likes me as a blonde.' I said trying to fake I'm really sad about it while I couldn't care less. 'We already have a blonde, me. You're still too beautiful but you just look better with your brown hair.' She made me blush a little, I missed Caroline, a lot. Before she turned, I always thought of her as a superficial rich girl getting everything she wants, but that is so far from true. Caroline had lost a lot of people too, like her dad, whom was her best friend. ´I don´t know what to feel. On the one hand I´m mad at Stefan but on the other hand I´m happy that he got to move on.´ Caroline kept her mouth shut for a moment. ´You can't blame him though. You were the one that left.' She said softly, analyzing my face. I couldn't blame her, Stefan was her friend too she saw him struggle for the last 70 years. 'You're right.. It's just hard to realize I'm not going to be with him.' 'Who says you can't be with him? Just because it isn't right _now_, doesn't mean it won't be right _later._' I shrugged, jealousy having a hold on me. 'I think you two should talk first, before you even start thinking about getting back together with him.' 'Clearly he didn't want to talk to me.' Caroline rolled her eyes. 'You really think that he doesn't _want_ to? He has been feeling miserable for the last 70 years, missing you. He can't handle it Elena, he's afraid you're going to leave again.' 'I'm not leaving again..' 'Well, you should tell him that. Make him listen to you, he _loves _you. The way he feels about you goes beyond everything I've ever read in fairytales. I've spend enough time with him to tell you that.' 'I've missed you.' I hugged her, again. 'Please come to school with me.' She begged, making me groan. 'You're starting too? Damon mentioned it too. What's the use?' I could hit myself after realizing what I said, Caroline looked at me with a big smile. 'Well you can be a cheerleader again, organize parties, take part in the Miss Mystic Falls competition, go to school dances, football games. Do I need to say more? Come on, it'll be like it was before..' She didn't dare to end her sentence so I did it for her. 'Before I turned? You can say it Caroline, I'm used to the idea relax. I just think it's weird. Going back to school without Bonnie and Matt. Not having to keep an eye on Jeremy.' 'I'm sorry, it is too soon right? I really am a tactless bitch..' She looked really guilty. 'No you're not, I'll try okay? But I think I have to talk to Stefan first.' 'Well, school will start in two days again, so you have plenty of time to catch up with everyone.' I nodded, mentally preparing myself.

I felt my eyelids flutter and they weighed really heavy. I let my mind drift while Caroline's voice was there in the back of my mind, I knew she was talking to me, but her voice worked like a lullaby. I was so tired and I was in desperate need of some sleep. I felt how Caroline laid me down and throw a blanket over me. She squeezed my hand. 'Goodnight Elena, I'll see you tomorrow.' She whispered. That was the last thing I heard before I fell into a deep _dreamless_ sleep. Caroline walked out with mixed feelings. She was happy her best friend returned, but she wasn't sure she was that happy for the Salvatore brothers, though Damon didn't want to admit, he loves Elena with the intensity of a thousand suns. _I can't believe I actually care about his feelings_, Caroline thought surprised about herself. And she suddenly feels the urge to speak to Stefan, make sure he is okay. They would hunt together this evening, but of course they had other things to do, like seeing Elena again. She hurried to the boarding house.

'Come in.' Damon said, sounding as bored as ever. 'Thank you.' Caroline smiled. 'I guess you are not here for me.' 'You guessed correct.' Damon grabs to his heart, as if she hurt him. 'Ouch, thanks Blondie. I thought we had something, a connection.' 'Bet you did. Where is Stefan?' She couldn't help but notice that Damon seemed happier. 'I don't know, I'm not his babysitter.' 'Oh I thought so. Never mind, I'll call him.' 'Ooh look what the cat dragged in.' Damon pointed to the door, where Stefan was standing. 'Glad that one of us finds this funny.' Stefan said seriously. 'Sorry, I will to listen to my Taylor Swift collection and cry.' And with that, Damon left. Stefan sat down on the sofa and Caroline sat down in front of him. 'I'm sorry about tonight, we can go hunting next time?' he offered. 'Don't be ridiculous, you had other things to deal with. How are you?' She eyed him feeling worried. He shrugged his shoulders up and down. 'I'm not sure. I can't decide if I feel happy, sad or angry. I feel all kinds of things but most of all, it feels like I found my missing piece. And then there is guilt called Aria, remember?' Caroline thought about that for a moment. She didn't want Stefan to give up on the girl who had made him smile again, but come on. _Stefan and Elena were epic. Stefan is her epic love and Elena is his. _Stefan cleared his throat to get her attention. 'Sorry, I was daydreaming. You should talk to Elena. After all, she is probably going to school again.' Stefan widened his eyes in disbelief. 'Caroline, that was your idea right? I'm not sure if I can handle that.' She felt guilty because it was her idea and she really didn't think about what it would do to Stefan. 'I'm sorry, I messed up _again.' _She sighed and covered her face with her hands. 'He don't worry about it. You've done worse.' Stefan chuckled and she knew he wasn't mad. 'Thanks friend.' She took a look at the clock and saw it was almost 4 AM. 'Well, I think I'm going. Tyler must be wondering where I am and besides, you could use some rest too. She said she was going to visit you tomorrow. Well today actually. You know what I mean.' Stefan smiled at her and walked her to the door. 'Caroline?' He asked, making her turn around. 'Yeah?' 'Thank you, you're a good friend.' She smiled. 'If you need someone tomorrow, you know my number.' And with that she walked away. He watched her leave and he felt grateful to have a friend like Caroline. How a person can change..

Not long after Caroline left, dark feelings started to kick in. He fell back onto his soft bed wishing for the sleep to come, but of course it didn't. His mind filled with images of Elena and him, Elena and Damon. It felt like a heavy weight was crushing him, the weight of Elena's return. He wasn't a cheater and he loved Aria, despite their differences but how could that weigh up to the love he had felt for Elena? He was tired of worrying about it, he just had to wait and see what tomorrow was going to bring. A couple of minutes later he finally fell asleep, dreaming of Elena.

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**Yaaay, next chapter is all going to be centered around the talk between Stefan and Elena. Thank you for your reviews, i love reading them, so keep them coming! **


	10. Chapter 10

_Open up next to you and my secrets become your truth  
And the distance between that was sheltering me comes in full view  
Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart  
And my burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore_

_All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe_  
_Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something_  
_Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again_

* * *

I woke up from a sound outside my room. I was so tired I hadn´t even noticed Damon and Caroline were walking in and out of my room. ´Good morning sunshine.´ Damon said while handing me a blood bag. ´Thanks.´I mumbled, my voice thick of sleep. I quickly drank the blood and threw the bag away. I already felt much more awake and stumbled out of bed. I wasn´t exactly a morning person, even as a vampire I had trouble waking up. When I looked around me I saw that the small wardrobe filled with some of my clothes was empty. ´I don´t mean to be rude or something, but what are you guys doing?' 'Well, we are moving you to your old/new house.' Caroline said barging in with a over packed beauty case. 'Umm what's that?' 'What does is looks like? We're getting rid of your ridiculous blonde hair. Now Stefan knows you're back you don't have to walk around pretending to be someone else.' I thought about that for a moment. 'But what about Bonnie and Matt?' Caroline seemed to realize something and sat down on the bed. 'Yeah about Bonnie. I haven't talked to her in 10 years. After you left, we didn't talk that much like we used to, but we talked. But now, she doesn't come into town anymore and she doesn't want to talk to me, so you shouldn't worry about her. Besides she's old.' 'Yeah I always wondered why she didn't use her ju-ju to keep her from aging. I've known a bunch of witches who did that.' Damon said smirking at us. 'Bonnie doesn't want to interfere with nature or something. But maybe if she had a good talk with Elena..' Her tone suggestive and she winked at me.

'No way, she hates me for becoming a vampire, I'd be surprised if she even wanted to talk to me.' 'Well you should try tough. Then we can start our little freak club and meet every week and talk about our problems. No old people allowed.' Damon said. 'And how I love to chit chat all day with you ladies and how I love the sight of you in your pajamas Elena, we really have to go if Elena wants to have a deep meaningful conversation with my little brother.' Suddenly I started to feel really nervous and looked at Caroline for some support, she noticed right away and sent Damon ahead. 'Okay, I'll get your house ready, but don't expect a house warming party or something.' He rolled his eyes, but I could see he didn't mind at all. 'Thank you.' I smiled at him and he rushed away. Caroline clapped her hands. 'Okay, let's get the real Elena back.'

After 2 hours, Caroline was finally finished with me. She picked out the perfect outfit for me and got rid of my blonde hair. I was afraid to look in the mirror, scared it would tear all my wounds open again just when I started to feel a little bit better about staying here. I bit my lip staring at my manicured hands, all to keep Caroline happy. 'Don't worry Elena, he's not gonna bite you or something.' 'That's not it, I'm not sure if I'm ready to be the old Elena again..' 'Who said you have to be the old Elena? Hair color isn't everything you know. Come one, what happened to the confident Elena, you're stronger than you were before you left. You can handle everything and if not, you've got me and Damon. Matt's door will be open too and Bonnie well.. she'll come around once you've spoken to her.' 'I wouldn't know what to do without you Care.' 'Yeah, I've heard that before.' She smiled and dragged me away from the motel, thank god I hated it.

I stood still in front of the door, I didn't want to go inside just yet, I had to get used to the idea there was no one waiting for me inside. No Jenna, no Ric and not even Jeremy. I swallowed the lump down my throat. Caroline left to give me some time to get used to the idea, she said she would see me tonight after 'the talk'. I felt a gust of wind behind me and before I knew it someone grabbed my hand. 'Relax, you're not alone Elena.' Damon said, showing his soft side again. I squeezed his hand and let go of his. I took a deep breath even though I didn't need it. 'By the way, love the new hair color.' I rolled my eyes and stepped inside, no need to be invited in because this house was no one's property anymore. 'It looks nice Damon, thank you.' I didn't want to look around the house with Damon being here because I knew I was going to collapse. 'Don't you want to look around?' I shook my head. 'No, later.. I really need to see Stefan now.' 'I'll take you, come on. Let's do a little race, or have you forgotten where we live?' I punched his arms. 'Shut up, that's not funny.' 'Too soon?' He asked, raising his eyebrows. 'Too soon.' I nodded and that was my signal, I started running at vampire speed, enjoying the wind messing with my hair. 'Cheater!' Damon screamed and I heard him running behind me. Well of course, before I reached the boarding house he was already waiting on the porch for me. 'Jeez you're so slow Elena, you really need to work on that.' He sighed. 'Thanks grandma, stop whining.' He opened the door for me and for a moment I hadn't even realized whose house I was entering, I stiffened up when I heard a girl's voice. Damon looked at me with worry filled eyes so I turned away my head. 'I'll go get him.' But Stefan already came down the stairs with a girl behind him. He froze for a moment when he laid his eyes on me but composed himself right away. The girl was looking at me with surprised eyes and I was giving her a mean glare, jealousy taking over me. 'I'll see you tomorrow.' Stefan said smiling at her, ignoring me and Damon. It looked like he wanted to give her a kiss but he backed away and waved after her. I heard him take a deep breath and then he turned around facing us. 'Well, guess you're not here to show us your photo album? Let's talk.' 'I'll leave you two love birds alone then.' Damon said, winking at Stefan but before he left he whispered something in my ear, so soft Stefan would never be able to hear it. '_When you first talked to him, it was epic. Make it epic again, I believe in you._'


	11. Chapter 11

If you could die from awkwardness I'd die. Stefan stared at me with his brooding gaze and I didn't know where to look. Everything I felt for him came rushing back to me, overpowering me and made me choke on my words. I couldn't read Stefan's face, I really didn't know how he felt. 'Stefan I-' 'What do you want me to do Elena? What did you expect? Me throwing myself in your arms? Confessing my undeniable love for you?' I stared at him and I felt my heart aching, not yet breaking. I shook my head, not able to speak a word. ´Good, cause I´m not doing any of that. You left Elena and that broke my heart, I knew you needed some time. _But 70 years?_' 'I just needed some time alone.. needed to figure out how I felt. I turned into something I hated, something that has killed so many people I loved..´ Stefan looked at me with an icy glance making me wince. ´And you couldn´t figure that out _with me?'_

**Stefan's point of view.  
**Stefan knew he was being unfair, but how could he show her what he really felt? He felt like breaking down, he wanted to _throw himself in her arms, confess his undeniable love for her_ but he couldn't. He was scared for getting hurt again, for hurting _her _again. It was like 70 years back again. If he let himself care once again, he would feel everything, all the pain he had felt during her absence. Elena shook her head, causing her hair to fall in front of her face and he had to fight the urge to touch it. 'Stefan _please,' _She pleaded 'Out of all people, I thought you'd be the one who would understand why I had to leave.' She tried to blink away the tears what caused his heart to ache even more than it already did. 'It's been too long to pretend like everything is alright.' 'I know Stefan, I know. But can you at least, look at me? I'm not a stranger.' She whispered. 'You feel like one. I'm sorry Elena, 70 years is a mighty long time without the one you love.' He felt the knot in his stomach getting tighter. He never wanted to hurt her but he had to he needed her to leave. He couldn't bare seeing her, all those memories they had made, it was all too much. He felt like he found out Katherine loved Damon too. He knew what he had to do, one final punch and she would leave. 'It's never going to be the same Elena.' 'No Stefan don't do this. Not this conversation _again_. I can't give up on you Stefan.' 'Yes you can, you already did it once. It's done. That part of my life is done,' He saw her tears streaming down her face but he had to keep going, to protect myself, to protect her. He knows what he did to her and that was nothing compared to what she did to him, him knew that. He had _killed _her and it still haunted him every day. It was his fault she was a vampire and he couldn't live with that. He took one deep breath and tried to make his voice sound as icy as he could. 'I don't want to see you, I don't want to be with you. I want you to go.' He knew what he was doing to her, they already had this conversation once, when Elena tried to save him from being a ripper. But it was for her own good, for his own good.

**End.**

I didn´t know what to feel, I think my body went numb just to protect me from myself. ´I-I have to go.' I choked on my words and stumbled to the door, blinded by the tears. 'I'm sorry Stefan.' I whispered and ran out. I knew I wasn't able to get home in this state but I had to try. When I almost reached the house I collapsed. Right then, I wanted to go back in time and relive every moment with Stefan, I wanted to go back in time and choose differently, I would have stayed if I knew then what I know now. I wanted us to share one more secret smile, one more shared laugh and one more electric kiss. Finding Stefan was like finding someone I didn´t know I was searching for. And now all those moments were gone. I sat down leaning into a tree and pulled my legs up wrapping my arms around them. I felt like a huge weight was trying to suffocate me and it was working. I couldn´t remember the last time I felt this miserable. Then all of a sudden my mind started playing tricks on me and I looked back on one of my favorite moments with Stefan.

_We were at the lake house, away for a romantic weekend. We needed some alone time and I was already inside the house when Stefan stood still in the doorway, he had to be invited in of course. ´You don´t have to wait out there, I´m all good.´ ´Ooh that´s great, because I´m stuck.´ ´O my god, you can´t get in.´ I was never a good liar, but I put in my best acting skills to make Stefan believe he couldn´t get invited in by me. ´Wouldn´t it be a very romantic weekend unless you invite me inside?' Stefan asked. I looked at him with disbelief. 'Stefan.. I can't.' 'What?' 'My parents left this place to John Gilbert, he's the only one who can invite you in.' I tried to hide my smile. 'I'm sorry, I completely forgot.' 'You're kidding me, right?' He said a little bit frustrated. I looked at him with my most serious face but my carefully made mask broke and I couldn't help but smile at him. 'Stefan Salvatore, I hereby invite you in this home.' I beamed. 'You are such a liar.' He growled playfully. He picked me up in his arms and kissed me making me feel like the happiest girl alive. _

I wiped my eyes and tried to compose myself. My phone had gone of a few times but I couldn't pick it up, I didn't want to speak to anyone. I sat there for a few moments more and assembled the strength to go home. Once I was home I got mad. I started throwing with things and screamed. It was all my fault and I knew I was being a drama queen but I couldn't help it. Stefan didn't love me anymore and you couldn't blame him but well.. He was the reason I wanted to change myself, so we could be happy together, without me feeling like a monster. That was the whole plan, to get myself together and prepare myself for an eternity with him, guess that didn't work out. I allowed myself to cry a bit more today, and tomorrow I would face the world on my own. I'm scared of what's behind me and what's before, but there will come a time, maybe not tomorrow, but maybe in a few weeks with no more tears, with no more fears. I held on to that thought, I had to keep going I had so much to live for. I decided to crawl into bed and hide myself beneath the blanket. I sighed and when I finally fell asleep I dreamed about the conversation between me and Stefan about being a vampire.

_We were climbing up a hill, and I was exhausted once we reached the top. The view was breathtaking and I stared into the distance thinking about how life was going to turn out, if I wanted this. 'Hey, you can say it.' Of course Stefan noticed there was something wrong. 'Say what?' I asked, playing dumb. 'The thing you've been wanting to say but been afraid of how it would make me feel.' 'There's nothing I can say Stefan, it's not gonna change anything.' I felt desperate but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. 'Would it make you feel better?' He asked, he wanted me to feel good no matter how much it would affect him. 'Look, I know this isn't the first time you've thought about it. Drinking vampire blood to survive and I know I've thought about it a hundred times.' 'And before all this with Klaus, did you think about it then?' 'Of course I did. Look,' He grabbed my hand and held it close. 'If it were my choice, I'd wanna be with you forever.' 'Why have you never brought it up?' I asked, a bit surprised. 'Because I knew it would have been an option, you would have. I would be selfish of me to ask you.' 'Didn't stop Damon.' I snorted. 'He shouldn't have done what he did. He did it because he loves you.' 'But he did this to me Stefan, which means he doesn't really know what love is. And to be honest, I don't know if I do. I'm 17 years old, how am I supposed to know any of this yet?' I paused for a moment when I saw Stefan's face, he was hurt. I grabbed both of his hands and squeezed them. 'I know that I love you Stefan, I know that. But my future.. Our lives together, those were things I was supposed to deal with as they came along.' Tears started to form in my eyes and I couldn't blink them away. Stefan nodded at me, he knew what I was feeling. 'I was supposed to grow up, decide if I wanted to have kids, start a family. Grow old, I was supposed to have a life time for these choices. And now.. It's all gone.' I cried. 'Hey you can say it.' Stefan encouraged me, stroking my face. 'Please.' He pleaded. 'I don't wanna be a vampire Stefan, I never wanted to be one.' 'I know, it's okay.' He hugged me while a cried in his arms. _

I woke up from hearing a sound near me. When I opened my eyes, I saw Damon sitting on my bed. His usual smirk nowhere to be found, only worry in his eyes. I felt tears coming already no matter how hard I tried to blink them away, he saw me struggling. 'Come here.' He said with arms wide open. I launched myself in them, making me feel less lonely. There were no feelings left for Damon, just a lot of respect and friendship. I loved him like a brother now. '_That kind of love never dies Elena. Remember that_.' He whispered, repeating Klaus' words.


	12. Chapter 12

When I got out of the shower Damon was gone. But when I walked into my room I smelled pancakes and the smell came from downstairs. Vampires didn´t need human food, but pancakes always cheered me up when I was still a human, so I was grateful and surprised that Damon remembered that. I got dressed and hurried downstairs not allowing myself to think about yesterday. I smiled when I saw Damon standing in the kitchen busy preparing some breakfast. ´Good morning.´ I mumbled while I sat down at the table. I was so tired from last night, I woke up every hour, soaked in sweat because I had been having nightmares about Stefan that really terrified me. ´Good morning sunshine.´ Damon smiled. ´What time is it?' Damon pointed to the clock while grabbing some plates. 'I didn't ask you where the clock was, I asked what time it was.' I was cranky, not because of yesterday. I just didn't like mornings. Damon chuckled and brought me a plate packed with pancakes. ´Here you go princess, this´ll cheer you up.´ I smiled at him gratefully and chocked down the pancakes, not even tasting them, I was so hungry and I had missed human food so much. Damon sat across the table and kept looking at me. I ignored him and when I was done I put away my plate and when I turned around Damon was right in front of me.

´How are you?' 'The pancakes were really good, thank you Damon.' I walked past him while looking at the clock. It was only 11 am but it felt like I had been running the whole night, I was exhausted already. 'Yeah really funny, that's not what I meant.' I sighed and turned around to look at him. 'I know, I don't want to talk about it. Life goes on. He doesn't want me and it's all my fault so I have to deal with it. Next subject please.' My voice was a bit shaky but I saw I had convinced Damon enough to let it rest for a while. 'You can talk to me you know..' Or not.. 'Thank you Damon, that's really sweet of you but I don't want to, really.' 'Sure?' I nodded and gave him a quick hug. 'Well, I'll see you soon.'

He looked at me with one eyebrow raised. 'I'm taking you shopping, you need your books for school, since it starts tomorrow.' 'No I'm not going. I don't want to see Stefan or his girlfriend or-' 'I really don't care. Barbie is there too and now she can hang out with you again so she doesn't have to hang out with Stefan in our house, so she doesn't have to annoy me anymore.' I exhaled deeply and looked at Damon, giving up. 'Okay fine, but.. You're paying for my new outfit too then.' I smiled and pulled him with me. 'God, please be merciful on me this time.' Right when Damon said that Caroline appeared in front of us. Damon rolled his eyes. 'Thank you God, just what I needed.' 'I'm here to save you Damon. You can just go and well do things you always do, like drinking and be your annoying self and I will take Elena shopping, she needs some girl time.' I just stared at them, barely able to hold my laughter. It was like I never left, nothing had changed between them, well that's not entirely true, it looked like they got along more. They didn't seem to hate each other anymore and that was really nice, finally. 'Well that's sounds nice. I'll see you around Elena.' He smiled and in a flash he was gone. 'Ready for some extreme shopping?' Caroline asked with a big smile on her face. 'Actually, I am!'

´How do you feel?' Caroline cautiously asked. We were eating something, at the Grill of course. We bought all my books and some new outfits too. It was an exhausting day and we deliberately avoided the subject Stefan. I sighed, I knew this was coming and I was grateful Caroline postponed this till the end of the day. I shrugged, not sure how I felt. This day was really nice, maybe everyday could be like this. It was true, when your heart is broken, attention is the best remedy for it. But the nights.. I'm scared of them, I don't know how I'm going to survive a night full of nightmares, night after night. Of course I didn't tell Caroline. 'I'm fine, I think. I enjoyed myself today, I really did. I'm glad I came back.' It was not entirely true, but I was happy to see Caroline again and Damon of course. And maybe in a few days I would visit Bonnie and Matt. Get my life on track again without _him_. 'You don't have to lie to me you know? I can see it in your eyes. You're devastated, he'll change his mind Lena. Don't worry, all he needs is time. He never stopped thinking about you, trust me. It's just.. He feels so guilty about you being a vampire, he believes it's his fault and well.. He missed you, a part of him died when you left, you just need to revive that part. Give it some time, he'll come around.' I blinked at her words, when did Caroline become so wise? 'We'll see.. I have to survive my first day of school first.' I said and with that, I closed the topic Stefan again. That would be my new strategy, pretending nothing was wrong and maybe after a while, I'd believe it myself. 'And now, I want to hear everything about England.' She smiled and I started telling her about the life I lived the last 70 years.

'Elena, wake up! You need to hurry, we're running late!' Someone screamed and I jumped out of my bed, falling onto the floor, hard. 'Jeez, stop yelling.' 'Well hurry up then!' The person screamed and I opened my eyes slowly. Caroline was standing in front of me with her eyebrows raised, looking really frustrated. 'you don't want to be late on your first day of school, do you?' I got back on my feet again and I rubbed my eyes, trying to keep them open. 'And you have to look like a goddess, so you can show Stefan what he's missing out on.' I sighed and walked to the bathroom, my mood below zero. I combed my hair and brushed my teeth, I knew I had no time to eat left and Caroline wouldn't let me take something with me I guessed. I put on some mascara and lip-gloss and I was content with it. To hell what Stefan would think about me, I wanted to crawl back into my warm and safe bed again. 'Hurry! We've got ten minutes left!' It didn't bother Caroline I ignored her, she grabbed some clothes from my closet and threw them to me. 'I'll be downstairs, don't you dare be late miss Gilbert!' She rushed downstairs and I could hear her tapping her foot impatiently.

I put on the clothes she picked for me, grabbed my back and hurried downstairs, like Caroline told me. I wasn't really in the mood for more orders so I just walked outside, to her car. 'Well, this certainly didn't change.' She said, bubbly and happy is usual.  
She handed me a steaming beaker with coffee and I smiled grateful at her. I took a few sips, not even caring about the temperature, I needed coffee right now. 'Thank you, much better.' She chuckled and drove us to school.

The school hadn't changed a bit, it looked like it always did in my memories. 'Well, welcome back to Mystic High, the place where all your dreams will be shattered and your hopes will be crushed. Have a nice day.' 'We can just leave you know. Why bother going to school if you don't like it?' I asked. She shrugged while we walked to the front door. 'I don't like the _lessons_, but I do like all the extra stuff. And I love being the captain of the cheer team.' I rolled my eyes, Caroline had a never ending obsession with cheer leading and everything that is part of it. 'Some things never change huh.' I inhaled deeply and felt Caroline wrapping her arm around my shoulders pulling me inside the school. 'Welcome back Elena. Let's make this our year.'

**Days passed, turning into weeks and the weeks turned into months. Stefan and I barely looked at each other, I saw him with his girlfriend, **_**Aria, **_**almost every day and I hurt me like the first time I saw them, but I learned to numb the pain. Three months passed and nothing really happened. Bonnie and Matt knew I was back, but Bonnie was really mad at me and I couldn't bare looking at her and seeing that look in her eyes, that judging look, she made me feel like a monster. And Matt.. good old Matt. My life was back on track and I felt happy, at least I thought I did. Life goes on and sometimes you just have to accept that you can't change everything and you can do nothing about it but just go with it, and that was exactly what I did, I went on with my life and I accepted the fact Stefan would hate me forever. That was of course, before I knew what was going to happen. My life was about to change, again.**


	13. Chapter 13

Caroline, me and some of our girlfriends were sitting in my room, dressing up and doing our hair for the prom that was about to start. ´Elena, stop fidgeting and be still!´ Caroline demanded. I was the last one getting her hair done, all the girls were ready already and busy doing their makeup and putting on their dresses. Caroline was curling my hair, while Brittany, one of our new friends, was doing my makeup. ´Stefan doesn´t know what he sees the moment he lays eyes on you.´ Caroline said giggling. I didn't respond to that, knowing my voice would give me away immediately. I felt nervous and shaky knowing Stefan would be there with his girlfriend. Damon would be there too, as a supervisor or something. I knew he was going to be there to keep an eye out for me and maybe even for Stefan too. When they were done with my hair and makeup I got up and put on my dress. When I turned around everyone stared at me and I felt my cheeks turning red. 'What's wrong?' I asked ashamed, Caroline was the first to regain her voice. 'You look absolutely stunning Elena. It's just.. My god. You're glowing.' I smiled at her and I realized she was right, I was glowing.

Even though I felt really nervous, I also felt kinda happy. My life turned back to normal and Caroline and I were almost inseparable. I enjoyed school and made some new friends, even went on a few dates with some guys from school but never went on a second date. My dress was really long and had a nude color. The strapless top was decorated with little diamonds and the skirt was layered. The color matched perfectly with my brown hair. 'Elena, where did you find that dress?' Brooke asked in awe. I shrugged my shoulders. 'England. I always knew something like this was going to happen.' All the girls looked amazing, some had long dresses like my, others had short dresses but Caroline really stood out, I felt so.. normal beside her. She wore a long dress too, but not as wide as mine, hers was embracing her curves and had the perfect green color. It was strapless too and the waist was decorated with detailed beading. 'We all look perfect,' Caroline said clapping in her hands. 'And we're just in time cause the limo has arrived. Let's make those boys crazy!' Everything giggled and squealed and I waited for everybody to leave the room to look in the mirror once again. I looked at my neck, which looked empty. I knew exactly what to wear and I found it right away, Stefan's necklace. It made me remember the old times, but this time, I was okay with it, it felt like I still carried a little part of Stefan with me. I took a deep breath and walked over to the limo.

It was getting late and the evening was almost over. I drank a little bit too much and my sight was getting a little blurry. The evening had been great and I danced with a lot of people and it was awesome. Stefan was there too, but without his girlfriend. 'Elena, I think you need to get some fresh air.' Damon said, holding me up. 'Why?' I asked, sounding like a drunk. I knew I was being pathetic, but the alcohol made me happy and warm inside and it made me forget about Stefan. Caroline disappeared with Tyler and I'd rather not know what they were doing. 'You're acting like a teenager Elena.' 'Well, I am. In case you forgot, I am stuck at being 18 forever. This is my one night to act like a teenager, cause everyone here does. It makes me feel normal, like I'm not a monster!' I almost screamed at him. My emotions were getting out of hand, the alcohol was supposed to calm me, not infuriate me. 'Relax Elena. You don't know what you're saying, the alcohol is speaking. You should know better.' Damon said, talking to me like a worried parent. 'Well tonight, I don't want to know better! I want to have a good time without thinking about Stefan, without thinking about everyone I've lost, without being responsible. I want to be 18 again, I want to grow up Damon!' I hesitated before speaking again. 'I don't want to be stuck in eternity.' I whispered. Right at that moment a slow song started playing and Damon took me in his arms. 'Just dance with me. You'll get through this. It took me 200 years to fully accept what I've become.' He said trying to comfort me. 'Liar, you don't. You love being a vampire, you love being young forever, you love everything about this life. You don't miss anything about your human life.' Alcohol made me honest, a bit too honest but Damon didn't seem to care. 'I miss everything Elena. I miss feeling human and everything about it. I wasn't always the bad guy you know. I miss the bond I had with Stefan. Now shut up before you hurt my feelings.' He tried to sound mean but he couldn't pull it off. 'Sorry, I had a little too much.' I mumbled. We danced for a bit and I started to feel drowsy.

'I-I need to go home.' I stumbled to the door but Damon almost stopped me right away. 'You're not going home in this state, you'll only hurt yourself. You're coming with me.' 'I'm not sleeping with you.' I laughed. He shook his head. 'I like you more when you're sober. Let's go, the party is over.' I let myself get dragged away from the party by Damon, my thoughts were a mess and I couldn't think straight. I didn't even realize where I was staying the night until we got there.

'Shit Damon, what were you thinking? I don't want to see Stefan, he's gonna kill you when he finds out you brought me with you!' 'Don't worry about it. You need to sleep, get sober. I'll bring you home tomorrow.' I really wanted to go home, but I was so tired I couldn't even walk anymore, Damon noticed and lifted me up. 'Come on sleeping beauty. I'll bring you to your room.' His arms gave me a save feeling and I dozed of immediately. The last thing I remembered was his soothing voice telling me I'm gonna be fine.

I woke up in the middle of the night, a bit disorientated. A sound woke me up and I felt like someone was watching me from the dark. Thanks to the little bit of alcohol that was left in my body my senses were not as good as they normally were. I tried to get back to sleep but I just couldn't shake the feeling of someone watching me. I was such a crappy vampire, I was getting scared over nothing and I wanted to go to Damon and let him make fun of me. I was probably the only vampire in the whole world that was afraid of the dark, guess I didn't lose that human part of me. Suddenly tears were streaming down my face.

I had made a mess of my life, again. What was I thinking? That I could go back to Mystic Falls pretending I was fine? Sure, my life could have been a lot worse, but nothing seemed right without Stefan. And now I was at his house, bringing back all those memories I tried to shut out for so long. And all of a sudden, I felt a set of arms around me, comforting me. I didn't even want to scream cause suddenly I didn't feel scared anymore. My eyes were getting better and I saw a face I had been dreaming about for so long. It made me cry even more, knowing this was a dream and I would wake up in the morning feeling like crap. 'Don't leave.' I whispered, knowing it would end soon enough. 'I'm never leaving again, I promise. You can sleep now, I'll be here when you wake up.' Stefan wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled into his chest, enjoying every moment we had left. I felt my eyes getting heavier, but I could still hear Stefan whispering to me. 'I'm sorry it took me so long.'


	14. Chapter 14

_you're sitting in the front row,_  
_Wanna be first in line,_  
_Waiting by my window,_  
_Giving me all your time,_  
_You could be my hero,_  
_If only I could let go,_  
_But his love is still in me,_  
_Like a broken arrow._

* * *

´Elena, wake up. Please, we need to talk.' Someone whispered to me. I didn't want to open my eyes, cause I knew I was still dreaming. The way the voice said my name made my heart skip a beat, knowing only Stefan's voice could do that to me, so it had to be a dream what else could it be? I kept my eyes shut and tried to hold on to this dream, it felt so real but it was so hard to believe this was really happening. 'Elena.' A voice smooth as silk whispered again and I could feel his cold breath tickling my ears. I had to open my eyes but I was afraid he would be gone if I did. I slowly opened them and I looked up in the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, his eyes were greener than I remembered and there was a hint of gold in them. I held my breath, not wanting to ruin this moment. All the love of the world was in his eyes which made my heart ache. I could feel his arms around me and he was cautiously looking at my face but I pushed him away. I jumped of the bed and walked backwards until by back hit the cold wall. I looked around, suddenly realizing this wasn't even my room? I was panicking and Stefan's face reflected my feelings. I knew that if I gave in to this dream, I would wake up feeling heartbroken again. I hadn't dreamed about Stefan in a long time, so this was going to be really hard when I woke up. 'Elena, what's wrong?' Stefan asked with a worry filled voice. He was still sitting on the bed and he was playing nervously with the blanket. 'Everything is wrong. I don't want to wake up, cause when I do I realize you're still gone.' Why couldn't I wake up? This was getting really annoying. Suddenly Stefan smiled and I wanted to hit him, this wasn't funny at all. 'You think you're dreaming?' He laughed, I had missed the sound of him laughing so much. It sounded so pure, he sounded so happy. I nodded, still really confused. Maybe I wasn't dreaming?

No that would be weird, but suddenly everything came back to me. Yesterday was the prom and I was too drunk to go home alone so Damon took me to their house and he put me in bed. Stefan had been here from the moment I woke up in the night, I wasn't wrong when I thought someone was in my room. So I hadn't dreamed that he held me in his arms last night? When I thought about this, my heart started to beat faster and hope overflowed my body before I could do something about it. It was wrong to get my hopes us and it would mean the end to me if this really was a dream but I couldn't stop myself anymore, Stefan was here and that was all I needed, but I had a little bit of willpower left and I stayed away from the bed. He was still laughing and I gave him an angry look. He stopped immediately and held his hand out for me. 'I'm sorry, but you're not dreaming although I always dreamed of you being here.' He said, suddenly nervous. I smiled a bit, but eyed his moves carefully. He walked up to me and stood still a few inches away from me. 'W-what are you doing here?' I asked him, trying to keep my voice calm. He didn't need time to think about his answer. 'You looked so heartbreaking beautiful last night. My final piece of the wall I built around myself crumbled down the moment I saw you. How can I not love you? I hate myself for what I did to you, I still do. All this guilt was so overpowering and numbed my feelings for you. But I realized that if you could forgive me, I could forgive myself too. I can't stay away anymore.' I needed a moment to breathe, I needed to get away from him, I couldn't think with him so close to me. But I couldn't move either, I looked up to his face, it looked like I remembered but ten times more beautiful. His eyes looked sad and he seemed exhausted but he was still the most beautiful person I've ever seen and will see.

I knew that if I didn't get away from him soon, I would lose myself in him. 'Please say something.' He begged but words couldn't describe what I felt at this moment. I was so confused. 'Elena, please. If you still love me, say it and I'll be yours, if you want to of course. I'll be yours forever.' Well this was it, my walls broke down and I lost my control. I couldn't express in words what I felt for him, but I could _show _him, knowing we could talk later. In a blink of an eye I had wrapped my arms around his nick and pushed my lips on his. He hesitated for a moment but that was gone in a flash and he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. It felt like the missing puzzle piece was found again and I was complete. He completed me, this kiss consumed me. The kiss was full of unspoken words and unspoken feelings but we understood each other perfectly. It was like fireworks were exploding in my stomach, making me feel like I could fly. He pushed me into the wall without interrupting our kiss and he deepened it. The kiss was exploding from passion, burning with desire.I missed Stefan, I missed his kisses, I missed the way he would wrap his strong arms around me. I missed the way our bodies fitted so perfectly together, I missed everything about him. We both knew we had to stop and really needed to talk and I wanted to talk to him but I couldn't back away from him, like some sort of junkie, addicted to him. It was like he could read my mind because he slowly let go of me, stroking my cheek. 'That was..' 'I know.' He smiled.

I looked into his eyes and I knew it was right, we were meant to be, just like Klaus said. Just like Caroline and all the others said. _Stefan was my epic love. _

I showered really quick because I knew Stefan was waiting for me downstairs. Stefan brought me home, because I really needed to change my clothes and take a shower. He promised me he would be back soon, because I couldn't stand being away from him after all this time, it had been way too long. I put on some random clothes and almost ran downstairs, having trouble with composing myself. There he was, sitting on the couch, I had dreamed of this moment for so long that it almost felt surreal that he was really here. I was surprised it felt so _normal_, like nothing had changed. I sat down in front of him and looked at him, waiting for him to start talking. But he didn't, he just looked at me with the same love in his eyes like he always did before I left, nothing had changed. 'What now Stefan? Is it really this easy? You just take me back after all this time? How can you still love me,' I couldn't stop talking, suddenly scared this was going to end soon and Stefan would leave and go to his girlfriend. 'You have a girlfriend Stefan! You had to stop me when I kissed you.' He didn't looked worried at all. 'We broke up a week ago, you didn't notice? How can I be with someone when I'm in love with someone else?' 'Well, that didn't seem to stop you a few months ago.' 'I was mad Elena, you left me. She was the only one who could make me feel a little bit better about myself. I hated myself Elena, it was my fault you turned and then you left because you couldn't handle it. Not that good for your ego you know.' I really felt like a bitch, I drove Stefan in someone´s arms and now I was blaming him for it. ´I´m sorry, I should have stayed in England.´ I whispered, feeling so bad about myself. I hurt him so much, I never really realized how much and all I did was feeling sorry for myself.

I stood up and walked to the door. ´You should go Stefan. I don´t deserve you. Look what I did to you, you´re drowning yourself in guild thanks to me, what kind of person does that?' He also stood up and walked into my direction, I thought he finally realized that I was right but all he did was wrap his arms around me and hold me. 'It's not your fault Elena. Nothing can change what you mean to me. No matter what life has in store for us, no matter how it is going to end, my life began with you.' I sighed and laid my head on his chest and breathed in his scent. 'The most important thing is you're here now and I won't let you leave again. It's my fault, this is all my fault. I love you, I will always love you.'


	15. Chapter 15

**Not my best chapter, but I just wanted some romance. Maybe two chapters will follow, and then the epilogue will be up! But I'm thinkg about making a sequel, and I'm busy writing a AU story about Stelena of course. Hope you still like this chapter, and please review! :]**

* * *

My phone went off, forcing me to get out of bed and pick up. ´Hello?' My voice was grouchy and when I looked at my alarm clock I saw that it was only 3 am. 'Elena, can I come over?' Stefan asked, hesitantly. 'Yeah, of course. I'll get the door.' I was suddenly wide awake. Stefan went home to give me a good night rest and he wanted to talk to Aria, he wanted to tell her honestly about me and to maintain peace. 'No need, just wanted to make sure you were awake.' He scared the hell out of me and I let out a scream. 'Jeez Stefan, it's 3 am. You shouldn't scare people at that time of the night, that's kind of creepy.' I hit him playfully on his chest and he let out a soft chuckle. 'I'm sorry I scared you, please don't be mad.' He whispered in my hair, sending chills all down my spine. 'Stop it Stefan.' I pushed him away and I crawled in bed again, Stefan tugged me in and laid next to me with one arm around me. This all felt so normal, like we had done this forever. It felt so right, so good to be with him again. We always had this natural chemistry and I was glad it was still here. It felt like nothing had changed. 'So, what's going on? Not that I mind you being here, but you know..' I smiled and caressed his face with my fingertips, following the trail of his eyebrows, always frowning, always worrying. 'Aria left town. She was really mad and kept screaming at me that I was a cheater and that I just used her and.. Well she sort of told me to watch out, that she would get her revenge.' I looked at him in surprise throwing my arms around him and pulling him closer to me. I knew how he felt, I knew him too well. 'It's not your fault Stefan, it's all my fault I was the one who drove you in her arms. She didn't mean it, she was just pretending to be angry to numb out the sadness. She probably didn't want to show you how weak she was. She'll get over it, don't worry.' 'Elena, I'm not worrying about _that._ Of course, I feel terrible about the fact I've hurt her, but I'm worried because she wants revenge. You'll probably already know she is just like Tyler, she is a werewolf. She wants _you_, Elena. She wants you to be her revenge.' I let that sink in for a moment and to be honest, I couldn't care less about it. Not with Stefan being here. 'Well, we'll take care of her. And besides, I can take care of myself you know. I'm not that useless anymore, you don't have to protect me anymore.' He took my hands and looked me in my eyes.

'I will protect you as long as I live Elena, I will protect you with my own life. I could live with the fact that you lived somewhere else, that you were gone. If I knew you were happy than everything would be alright, I could accept that. I'm never letting you go again, only if you can convince me it is for the best, if you can convince me that it really makes you happy. But until that time comes, I'll be here for you and protect you. You don't have to worry about anything, I know you might not believe it, but you're safe with me.' I felt tears filling up my eyes and Stefan whipped them away before they could really stream down. 'I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you cry.' I nodded and held on to his chest, hearing his heartbeat calmed me down. 'You're so sweet and loving and everything I could ever ask for and I still put you through hell. How can you still love me.. I know you said it before but I just can't believe it.' I whispered, while looking at his face carefully. 'Elena, our kind of love never dies. I love you, I always have and I always will.' He leaned over and kissed me... and I kissed him back. And then, our eyes met and it was like, we both knew. So we smiled, and kissed again. It was so perfect. 'I should have realized sooner that life without you is so meaningless. Someone asked me where my real home was, and I didn't know the answer back then, but I know now. If someone asks me where my home is, I'll tell them that it is wherever you are.' Stefan's face lid up and kissed my forehead. We were silence for some time and I dozed off a bit but Stefan's voice kept me from falling asleep. 'Move in with me. Please.' I didn't have to think about that.

'That sounds like a great idea, Mr. Salvatore.' I whispered in his ear and he immediately noticed my mood switch. His soft hands were tracing my body lightly, looking at me for approval and I answered him with a kiss. I took his shirt off with trembling hands while he was kissing my neck. I looked at his muscular chest, and felt my heart beating faster. I started feeling nervous because I realized that he must have been together with Aria and I felt really conscious about myself. I knew I was being absolutely ridiculous, but I'm still a girl.. What if I disappointed him? What if he had expected more from it? And like the gentleman he is, he let go of me. He always knew what I was thinking. 'Don't worry Lena, you're the one I want. You're the most beautiful creature I have ever seen and will see. No one compares to you. Come here.' He said, pulling me into his arms. 'Stefan?' 'Hmm?' He whispered in my ear. 'Kiss me.' I realized that Stefan was the only one I wanted, he was the only one who could make me feel like this, there was absolutely no need to be scared. In between our kisses, I managed to yawn and I felt my cheeks turn red. He chuckled when he noticed and yawned too. 'This is going to be the first night I don't want to fall asleep. Reality is better than my dreams again.' Stefan was a true romantic and I loved him for it. 'Shut up, you're making me blush.' I didn't have the power to fight the sleep anymore and I drifted away soon. He kissed my lips softly and he tugged me in a bit better. 'You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours. And, my darling, you will always be mine.' He whispered and I fell asleep with a smile on my face. It wasn't my ear he whispered into, but my heart. It weren't my lips he kissed, but my soul.


End file.
